14 Nights of Halloween: How to Horrifically Ruin Holiday Recipes, Crunchy Donut Eyeballs

If you want to fit into that sexy nurse’s costume later this months for Halloween, I’d recommend that you stay away from these babies.

Before we begin, I must be frank – I struggle with cooking. I always seem to burn or water down something. My mother says I merely need practice. I think I need to become successful enough to have someone cook for me.

They’re made up of:

  • 20 glazed donut holes (Legit donut holes. Not the Target brand. Euh!)
  • 1 cup of Nestle white chocolate morsels
  • Gummie Life Savers
  • Mini M&Ms
  • 2 tablespoons of Crisco’s solid vegetable shortening
  • Red Icing

I thought these were going to go really well for me. The recipe is quick, simple, and will send me on a what-should-be-illegal sugar high.

But it did not go as planned. And I even followed the directions! Well…kind of….

Lay out a cookie sheet covered with wax paper and then cut the donut holes in half, setting them flat side down.

In a microwave-safe bowl or in a small saucepan, melt the 1 cup of white chocolate morsels and the 2 tablespoons of Crisco.

“Crisco ain’t just for frying. You ever get a sticky something stuck in your hair, like gum?…That’s right, Crisco. Spread this on a baby’s bottom, you won’t even know what diaper rash is…shoot, I seen ladies rub it under they eyes and on they husband’s scaly feet…Clean the goo from a price tag, take the squeak out a door hinge. Lights get cut off, stick a wick in it and burn it like a candle….And after all that, it’ll still fry your chicken.”

– Kathryn Stocket, The Help

I recommend that if you microwave the contents, only do so for about 2 1/2 minutes. Longer, and you risk the chance of burning the mixture. Like I did.

Once thoroughly melted/mixed, take a fork and, one-by-one, dip the donut holes into the mixture of chocolate.

Proceed to lay the Life Savers down on top of the donuts first and then snuggle the mini M&Ms into the middle of the Life Savers for the affect of pupils.

Set the eyes in the refrigerator to harden for about 15 minutes.

20161009_230854479_ios

Mine obviously looks significantly different. As I did burn my chocolate/Crisco mixture the first time, I didn’t have enough white chocolate batch, so I threw in some milk chocolate morsels, thinking they would just end up looking like zombie eyes, maybe even demon eyes, like in Supernatural.

They don’t.

So, if you find yourself stuck in the same situation I did, I suggest you add some green food coloring to make the “eyes” look deader.

That’s not a word, but I’m using it anyway.

 When you bring them out again, you can apply the red icing along the sides to make creepy “veins”. (As I had no red icing because I forgot to buy it and am on a fixed schedule here, I did not.)

Voila! You have eyes!

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Short of…

My little brother, who eats anything and everything, says they are wonderful. My youngest brother says they’d be better if they weren’t the Target brand. (See?)

I encourage you all to try out this recipe for yourselves. If you’re able to figure out where I went wrong with anything, please say so in the comment section below.

I hope this gives you an eye for what you’d like to do this Halloween. Look in our website tomorrow for our “14 Nights of Halloween”‘s 2nd issue, Mini Caramel Apples.

– Chloe Cushing, Senior

Additional Info:

http://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a2330/crunchy-doughnut-eyeballs-halloween-snacks/


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